02x07 - May the Best Pet Win!

Episode transcripts for the TV show "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic". Aired: October 2010 to October 2019.*
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02x07 - May the Best Pet Win!

Post by bunniefuu »

Who?
Oh, it's you, Owlowiscious.

C'mon, try and keep up!

Winona? I mean... Winona's head?!

Um, is this weird, or is it just me?

Angel?
Gummy?!

Okay, this is officially beyond weird now and moved right on down to freaky town.

- Alright!
- Aw sweetie!
- Let's get this thing started!

Sincerest apologies, Rainbow, if our pets were bothering you.

Say you're sorry, Opal.

She's... sorry.

What are you all doing out here?

Why, we always round up our critters for a regular ol' Pony Pet Playdate in this park.

You do?

Same time every week.

I thought you knew. You didn't know? She didn't know?

Well we had initially planned on inviting Rainbow, of course, exceptâ€"

We were totally gonna invite you, Rainbow, then Twilight remembered that you don't even have a pet.

And Rarity remembered that you really like to take naps in the afternoon.

Applejack figured you wouldn't be missing out on anything anyway...

And Fluttershy and I nodded our heads in agreement like this.

Oh, please don't be mad at us!

Oh, I'm not mad. You all are right.

Not much point of a Pony Pet Playdate for me if I'm a pony without a pet, right?

Exactly!

So, if you'll excuse us...

Alright! Come on Winona!

Hey, now wait a minute!

Just because I don't have a pet NOW, doesn't mean I never want a pet!

Oh, really?! You really want a pet? Really?

Cause I've got so many wonderful choices at my house!

And I know you'll just love them, and they'll love you!

And you'll be best friends forever and ever!

Now, Rainbow my dear, I cannot express my delight

It's abundantly clear that somewhere out here

Is a pet that will suit you just right!

I can't wait to get started

But first let me set a few rules:

It's of utmost importance the pet that I get

Is something that's awesome and cool

Awesome, cool, got it.

Sure! How about a bunny?

They're cutesy and wutesy and quick as can be!

Cutesy, wutesy? Have you even met me?

Rainbow have faith

You see, I will bet you

Somewhere in here is a pet that will get you

Come on, the sky's the limit!

Sky is good. I'd like it to fly!

Really? Because I think this widdle puddy tat has your name written all over him.

Yes he does. Aww, look, he likes you!

Pass.

I have so many wonderful choices for you to decide

There are otters and seals with massive appeal

Otters and seals do not fly.

Maybe not, but I've seen this particular seal catch ten feet of air when he breaches the water.

That's it. I'm outta here.

Wait! There must be a pet here

That will fit the ticket

How about a ladybug or a cute cricket?

Bigger! And cooler!

Bigger. Cooler. Right.

I've got just the thing in that tree, Dash

Meet your new fabulous pet, Squirrely!

It's just a squirrel.

Not just any squirrel. A flying squirrel!

Yeah... So, like I was saying.

Fluttershy, pal, this won't cut it

I need a pet to keep up with me!

Something awesome, something flying

With coolness that defies gravity!

I'm sensing you want an animal that can fly.

You think?

I have plenty of wonderful creatures who soar in the sky

Like a sweet hummingbird or a giant monarch butterfly

Better, but cooler!

I see. How about an owl, or a wasp, or a toucan?

There's so many wonderful creatures the likes of that

There are falcons and eagles

They are both quite regal

Or perhaps what you need is a dark and mysterious bat?

Now you're talking!

But instead of just one stand out, now that's too many.

So many choices, and such riches a-plenty

Not a bad problem to have if you ask me.

The bat would be awesome, but the wasp I'm digging too

You have something in a yellow striped bat?

No...

I've got a hot pink flamingo, just dying to meet you

What to do, what to do?

Of course! That's it! There's really just one way

To find out which animal's best

Hold a contest, of speed, agility and guts!

That will put each pet to the test!

Don't forget style, that should be considered

Then we'll know for sure who's best of the leader

The one who is awesome and cool

Just like me!

Can't settle for less, 'cause I'm the best

So a contest we will see!

Who's the number one, greatest, perfectest pet

In the world for me!

May the race begin

And may the best pet win!

So! You all think you've got what it takes to be my pet, do ya?

Well, we'll just see about that!

If any of you don't think you can handle it, bow out now before you humiliate yourself in front of your peers.

This competition isn't for the weak. You'd better be prepared to step up your game!

You call that flapping?!

That's better.

There's only room on Team Dash for one of you, and my future pet needs to be able to take it to the extreme!

Any questions?

I got one. Does she understand what a pet really needs?

Yeah, like care and attention, love and affection.

And breath mints!

Now, you just pay attention, and try your best, and-

Seriously, Fluttershy! The turtle? What did you bring that thing here for?

Technically he's a tortoise, and he's always dreamed of being somepony's pet.

He just wants a chance to compete, he won't get in the way. You won't even know he's here.

No.

Oh, just let him try.

But there's no way he can possibly keep up. Look at him!

- It won't hurt to let him try...
- But--

Just let him try?

Fine!

But don't say I didn't warn you!
This isn't a game, you know!

Alright, now these games will determine which one of you has the most important qualities I'm looking for in a pet.

Speed...

Agility...

Guts...

Style...

Coolness.

Awesomeness.

And radicalness.

Aren't those all the same thing?

You would think that, Twilight. And that's why you would never qualify to be my pet.

Speed! On your marks...

Get set...

Sorta speedy... not speedy...

Pretty speedy... could be more speedy...

Yeah! That's speed!

That's just sad.

Agility!

Sorta agile...

Not agile...

Pretty agile...

Could be more agile...

Wanna know the opposite of agility? That.

Yeah baby, now that's what I call agility!
: : , --] : : ,
Don't leave me hanging!

I'm gonna have to shave a point off your score for that.

Okay! Which of you has the guts to try and get Opal's favorite toy away from her?

Now that takes guts!

Style!

Any pet of mine's gotta look good, 'cause you gotta make me look good!

Coolness!

Sorta cool.

Not cool.

Pretty cool.


Could be cooler.

Not what I had in mind.

I can't hear you!

Now that's a cool sound!

Sorta awesome.

Not awesome.

Could be more awesome.

Yeah, that is awesome!

You did that already. That's pretty much all you can do, huh?

That was truly awesome!

But... I'm afraid this is the radicalness competition, so I'm gonna have to take some points off.

- Listen, turtle...
- Tortoise!

Whatever!

You've had your fun, but I think you and I both know who made the cut and who didn't.

You didn't.

I mean... A for effort and everything, you gave it your best sh*t,

maybe I've got a gold star sticker around here somewhere you can have, but, seriously, go home.

You're starting to creep me out.

So, anyway...

You're all outstanding competitors, but there can only be one of you who's number one.

So the final, tie-breaking contest is going to be...

Pause for dramatic effect...

A race against... me!
: : , --] : : ,
Through Ghastly Gorge!

Gesundheit.

Actually, Ghastly Gorge isn't scary. It's fun.

I've flown through it a million times myself, so, obviously I'll be at the front of the pack.

But whichever of you make it across the finish line with me, will have proven you can keep up with me.

And will have earned the honor, and glory, of getting to be my pet!

Ready?

Set go!

Try to keep up!

Can't catch me!

C'mon, slowpokes! You wanna win, don't ya?

Oh! I forgot to tell you!
Watch out for the Koray eels!

They don't like it when you get too close to their nests... like this!

Easy, peasy, one-two-threesy! Right guys?

AVALANCHE!

C'mon... no! Wait! Come back! Don't leave me!

I'm the one who's supposed to win!
I don't wanna end up stuck here... forever!

Oh no, nonono, this can't be happening.

Forever is way too long to be trapped in Ghastly Gorge. I mean, it's like, forever!

Somepony! Anypony! Help me!

My prayers have been answered!

Oh, thankyouthankyouthank- You?!

Oh no!

Now I'm not only going to be stuck here forever, I'm gonna be stuck here with the most annoying turtle in the world!

I'm doomed. DOOMED, I tell you!

Something's not right here.

Where's Rainbow Dash?

Great galloping galoshes! There's been an avalanche in there!

Rainbow!

- Wait! Look! It's the turtle!
- Tortoise!

Whatever...

And he's carrying something on his back...

It's Rainbow Dash! It's her! It's Rainbow!

Maybe we'd better go meet him halfway.

Way to go, little guy!

Thank goodness you're not hurt, Rainbow!

Just my pride.

I certainly hope all of this dreadful dust was worth it!

It sure was, if it means Rainbow gets to have her own little critter just like the rest of us from now on.

Thanks. What you did... I owe you one.

Rainbow! Your new pet is over here waiting for you!

Right... yeah. That.

What's the matter?

You got your perfect pet, right?

The best of the best like you wanted, remember?

It can fly and it's not a squirrel! Should we sing about it again?

A falcon sure looks good on you, Rainbow.

Easy, fella. Nothing to be afraid of.

The falcon sure does look cool... he's absolutely everything I wanted in a pet.

Yay?

But I said whoever crosses the finish line WITH me gets to be my pet.

You did! You did say that!
She did say that, that was the rule!

And the only racer who crossed the finish line with me, was the one who stopped to save me when I needed help.

The tortoise!

But what about the--

Would you look at that? He even smiles slow.

Spike, take a letter.

Dear Princess Celestia, I used to think that the most important traits to look for in a pet,

or any best friend,

were all physical competitive abilities.

But now I can see how short-sighted and shallow that was.

Today I learned what the most important quality really is. A certain kind of spirit.

A stick-to-it-iveness. A never give up, can-do attitude that's the mark of a real winner. And this tortoise has it.

- Tenacity.
- Gesundheit.

You just can't stop that little guy.
He's like a... like a... t*nk!

But Rainbow! You didn't want a pet that couldn't fly because it would keep you grounded and hold you back, remember?

Alright c'mon over here Winona!

C'mon, t*nk! We're gonna be late for our very first Pony Pet Playdate!
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