♪ What would you do
if I sang out of tune? ♪
♪ Would you stand up
and walk out on me? ♪
♪ Lend me your ears,
and I'll sing you a song ♪
♪ I will try not to
sing out of key, yeah ♪
♪ Oh, baby, I get by ♪
- ♪ by with a little help
from my friends ♪
-♪ All I need is my buddies ♪
-♪ High with a little
help from my friends ♪
-♪ I'm sayin' I'm gonna get higher ♪ - ♪
try with a little help from my friends ♪
-♪ Whoa-oa-oa-oa ♪
-♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
-♪ Somebody who
knows quite sure ♪
♪ Baby ♪
-♪ By with a little
help from my friends ♪
-♪ Said I'm gonna make
it with my friends ♪
-♪ Try with a little
help from my friends ♪
-♪ Oh, I'm gonna
keep on trying ♪
-♪ High with a little
help from my friends ♪
♪ I'm gonna keep on
trying now, baby ♪
-♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
[Leroy anderson's "the
syncopated clock" plays]
-Over the course of
the average lifetime,
You meet a lot of people.
Some of them stick with
you through thick and thin.
Some weave their
way through your life
And disappear forever.
But once in a while,
someone comes along
Who earns a permanent
place in your heart.
Someone like, say...
-Hi, kevin.
- Miss hasenfuss,
my dental hygienist.
-Hi, miss hasenfuss!
-I'm ready for you now.
-Actually, she was more
than just my dental hygienist.
-So, have we been brushing?
-You bet. Every day.
-Let's take a look.
-Our relationship went beyond
Lower incisors and upper
bicuspids and dental floss.
She was someone I
could really talk to.
-[Muffled] so, how
are you doing?
-Oh, busy. You?
-Well... You know.
-Open.
-She smelled like ivory
soap and herbal shampoo,
And knew all the
right things to say
To make a man
feel like... A man.
-Spit.
-And even though we
only met twice a year,
It was pretty clear
we had something...
Special.
-Last one. Say "che-e-e-se!"
-[Muffled] che-e-e-se.
[Mechanical whirring]
-Here, we'll let the
doctor take a look at these.
But I'm sure they'll be perfect.
As usual. [Chuckles]
-But it wasn't until
the x-rays were over
And the big lead bib came off
That our relationship
really came alive.
-So, how's school going?
-Oh, great! I graduate
ninth grade this year.
-Really? That's quite
an accomplishment.
-Well, you know...
-We shared things,
man to woman...
Woman to man.
-You know... I've never really
told anybody this before...
But...
Promise you won't laugh?
-Uh, no.
I-i mean, yes. I promise.
-I've always thought I'd like
to go back to school some day.
-Really?
-I think so.
There's only so far in life
you can go cleaning teeth,
You know what I mean?
-Oh! Oh, of course.
-But I'd never have the courage.
All those tests.
Tests scare me.
-God, was she cute!
-Well, you know, tests
really aren't so bad.
I mean, I've taken
a bunch of tests.
I bet you'll do fine.
-Hmm. You really think so?
-Oh, absolutely. No
question about it.
-Thanks for the
vote of confidence.
But I think I'm just not a
very courageous person.
Not like you.
-[Gulps]
-And there you had it.
Total mutual admiration.
I admired her for her, uh...
-I saved you the blue one.
- Toothbrushes...
-Thanks.
-And she admired
me for my courage.
-What's the matter? You chicken?
[Farting sound]
- Courage in ninth grade
being a relative thing.
-No, I'm not chicken.
I'm just not crazy.
-He's chicken.
[Both cluck mockingly]
-Come on, guys.
Knock it off, will you?
-Look, all he has to
do is slip this thing
Onto mr. Gardenia's
chair in study hall.
It'll be a riot!
-Yeah, well, maybe I
don't think it's so funny.
[Both cluck mockingly]
-You guys, leave him alone.
If he doesn't want to do
it, he doesn't want to do it.
- Yeah.
- Okay, then. You do it.
-Well, why don't you
do it? It's your idea.
[Both cluck mockingly]
-At 14, true heroism has
less to do with actual logic
And more to do
with pure stupidity.
-Okay. I'll do it.
But you guys have
to do it next time.
- Yes! Yes!
- All right!
- Yes!
- You guys are
completely idiotic.
-Maybe so.
But I wasn't the kind of guy
to shrink from a challenge.
I was a man of action.
-Hey, butthead.
-A man with a brother.
-Hasenfuss called.
-A man who got phone calls
from his dental hygienist.
-She did? What'd she say?
-What do I look like,
your secretary?
She said she wanted to
see you this afternoon.
-Now, since I wasn't
due for a checkup
For another six months,
This could only mean one thing.
[Farting noise]
[Laughter]
It had to be personal.
-Boy, you got here fast.
-Oh. I was just in
the neighborhood.
[Panting]
Did you... Want me?
-Kevin... I have
something to tell you,
And I'm not quite sure
how you're gonna take it.
-Maybe not.
But standing there, the
possibilities seemed endless.
-What is it?
-You have a cavity.
You're gonna have
to see dr. Tucker.
[Mechanical whirring]
[Hinge creaks]
-Okay. Let's have a look-see.
Open.
Pick.
[Metal scrapes]
Thank you.
Wider.
[Gasps] hasenfuss, look at this.
Just as I thought. Cavity.
Lower second bicuspid.
Big sucker.
-Now, a word of
explanation here.
I'd never had a cavity before.
Still, under miss hasenfuss'
watchful eye, I figured,
How bad could it be?
[Electricity crackles]
- aaah!
Aah!
-Oh.
Is that sensitive?
-Yeah.
-Good.
-Kevin, are you all right?
- [Panting]
- of course I wasn't.
But then, I did have an
image to maintain here.
-Fine. It was... Fine.
I-it was... It was just a...
A charley horse.
In my leg.
-Well, you sure were
brave. A lot braver than me.
That cavity looked
pretty serious.
I probably would have
jumped out of my skin.
-Nah, it was nothing.
-After all, that smile
was reward enough
For a few moments of agony.
Especially now
that it was all over.
-Make an appointment
on your way out.
-An appointment?
-Well, that sucker's
not getting any smaller.
We're gonna have
to drill it and fill it.
[Chuckles] book
him, hasenfuss. Next!
-Was this guy joking?
No way I was coming back.
-How's wednesday sound?
-Fine.
-A cavity? Oh, honey,
that's too bad.
-She didn't know the half of it.
-Well, I suppose that's why
we have dentists, don't we?
I'm sure dr. Tucker will
take good care of you.
-Thanks, mom.
-But it wasn't dr. Tucker
I was worried about.
It was looking like
a craven coward
In front of miss hasenfuss.
-[Belches]
-It was time to seek help...
From the grand poobah
of tooth decay himself.
-Wayne... You go to
dr. Tucker a lot, don't you?
-None of your business.
-Well, when you do,
And he, you know,
fills a cavity...
Does it hurt much?
-Nah.
He gives you novocaine.
-Of course! Novocaine!
-And that works?
-Sure. You don't feel a thing.
Once you get past
that needle. [Shudders]
-What needle?
-The big one. 'Bout the
size of a telephone pole.
See, he jams the thing
right into your gums!
Then all you hear are sounds.
Crunch! cr*ck!
Zzzz! Zzzz! Zzzz!
Then you feel tooth
fragments flying everywhere!
Oh, and then there's
that unbelievable smell.
Got to be sure you
don't gag or something.
And other than that...
It's a piece of cake.
-That guy. What a kidder.
-Are we ready?
-I think so.
[Chainsaw revs]
-Open wide!
[Laughs evilly]
[Chainsaw revs]
This may...
Sting a little.
[Laughs evilly]
-Help! Help me!
Uh-oh!
-Oh! Is that sensitive?
[Laughs evilly]
-Miss hasenfuss!
-♪ Actin' funny but
I don't know why ♪
-And I thought you
were a man of courage.
-♪ 'Scuse me while
I kiss the sky ♪
-[Sighs]
-[Panting]
[Crickets chirping]
-Fortunately, by the next day,
I'd pretty much managed
to calm my fears.
-[Panting]
-Hi, kevin. You ready?
-Uh... I think so.
-Sure. Nothing to
worry about here.
Just a simple, little filling.
-Miss hasenfuss...
-Something wrong?
-No.
It's just...
-Who was I kidding?
I had to tell her...
Tell her I was scared.
Maybe she'd respect
me for my honesty.
-It's just...
There was this fire.
-Fire?
-Yeah.
Yeah, at my house,
so I got to go.
-Oh. I-i hope nobody was hurt.
-No! No, nobody was
hurt. I just have to go now.
Right now.
[Siren wails]
- there. Grace under pressure.
[ Man screams in distance]
-Do you suppose
that was squasnick?
-I don't know.
I don't know what to think.
-The night of the great
dentist-office bailout,
I faced a sobering truth.
-You scared, kid?
-I wonder if we can take it.
All the way, I mean.
-I had fled in the
face of battle,
In front of miss hasenfuss.
I was... A coward.
-It's the fear of being afraid
That frightens me
more than anything else.
-Just remember what
the old man told you.
-I was unworthy
of my proud lineage.
-Dad?
-Hmm?
-You were in combat, right?
-Sure. I was in combat.
-Were you scared?
-Well... I don't know
if I'd call it scared.
We had a job to
do, and we did it.
-Fear has nothing
to do with cowardice.
A fellow is only yellow
When he lets his
fear make him quit.
-You know, when you're
out there in the trenches
And the smoke is
stinging your nose,
And the b*ll*ts are zipping
past your head like flies...
You don't have
time to be scared.
-And that's when it hit me.
If my father was that brave,
then maybe I had it in me, too,
Somewhere down deep.
-There's only one thing that
ever scared the pants off me.
-What's that?
-The dentist.
[b*mb whistling]
[expl*si*n]
-I was left with one option...
Hide among women who shop.
-Honey, is something wrong?
-No. No.
-Oh, it's your tooth, isn't it?
-No. I-i-it's nothing, really.
-Now, how long did you
say it would take dr. Tucker
To recover from
that ski accident?
-Oh, what tangled webs we weave.
-Mom, I got to go get some...
- Butter.
- Butter.
-Price check
On a 5-pound bag
of dog food, please.
-Face it. I was a
man on the run.
Running from fear, humiliation.
Running from...
-Kevin! Hi!
- Hasenfuss.
-Uh...
-Jennifer! Hi!
-Mrs. Arnold. Hello.
-Oh, my gosh, here they came...
The woman I'd lied to
And... The woman I'd lied to.
[Train whistle blows]
The rock and the hard place.
-How've you been?
-Fine. You?
-Good. Look at all those books!
-Yeah, I've been kind
of reading up on things.
I've been thinking about
taking some classes, but...
I'm not sure,
Even though kevin
tells me I should.
Right, kevin?
- Oh.
-[Chuckles]
-But I'm afraid I'm just
not as brave as he is.
-Ouch.
-Anyway, I can't stop to chat.
I have to be getting
back to the office.
-Uh-oh.
-Dr. Tucker's office?
-I was trapped, like a
rat in a ski accident.
- But I thought...
- Mom?
-It was time for some
subtle creative thinking.
-Uh, you know, she's got
to get back to the office.
And... You know, there's
gonna be traffic getting home.
And have you seen the lines
at those checkout counters?
-Oh. Well, I guess
we really should go.
-I'm sure we'll bump
into each other again.
-Phew. I was out of
there. Free and clear.
-Oh, and kevin, don't forget to
reschedule your appointment.
And I'm so sorry about the fire.
-A fire?
[Alarm blaring,
alarm bells ringing]
-So much for the best-laid
plans of mice and men,
Particularly mice with mothers.
There was no putting this off.
It was act now
or face the chair.
-[Humming]
-Dr. Tucker?
I'm kevin arnold...
Your patient?
-Is this an emergency?
-Well, kind of.
See, I need to make
an appointment.
-Well, speak to hasenfuss.
She keeps the books.
-Well, that's kind
of the problem.
You see, I was wondering
If someone else could
assist with the filling.
-What's wrong with hasenfuss?
-Well, nothing. Nothing
at all. She's great.
I-it's just...
I'd just... Rather have
someone else, that's all.
-Well. She's off tuesdays.
Why don't you
come by about 4:00?
-Thanks.
-You're the customer.
[Chuckles]
-And it was done.
I'd been spared.
-Dr. Tucker?
You won't tell her, will you?
That I didn't want her there?
-Doctor, i-i forgot
to remind you
You have a 9:00
tomorrow morning.
I have to be getting
back to work.
-The next few days,
I guess you could say I
was kind of off my game.
Maybe it was my tooth.
Maybe it was something else.
All I knew was...
[Door opens]
-Kevin arnold?
-Here.
- Oral hygiene was never
gonna be the same again.
-I'm ready for you now.
-The thing is, even
though I knew
Miss hasenfuss
wouldn't be around,
I could almost see her there,
In that room where we'd
shared our hopes and dreams.
-Kevin. Hi.
-You're here?
-Did you come for your filling?
-Yeah.
-Good. You should
get that taken care of.
-Listen... Miss hasenfuss.
-I took your advice.
Um, I'm leaving.
-What?
-My god. She was taking
this harder than I'd thought.
-Why?
-I'm going back to
school full time,
To become a dentist. [Chuckles]
I think, maybe, for children.
I mean, now's as good
a time as any, right?
[Chuckles] oops.
I guess I'm kind of nervous.
I'm sure you'll do just fine.
-Yeah.
-Hey.
I'll take all my kids to you.
-[Chuckles] promise?
-And at that moment,
I learned a little something
about fear and courage.
If this woman was brave
enough to take life by the horns...
Maybe I could too.
-Miss hasenfuss?
I, uh... I have this filling.
Would you assist?
[Leroy anderson's "the
syncopated clock" plays]
-In the end, that appointment
wasn't any big deal after all.
In fact, it was kind of a
nice way to say farewell.
And sure, maybe it
was the novocaine
Coursing through my
98-pound body, but I could swear
Miss hasenfuss
had a tear in her eye.
And when it was all over,
There was nothing
left to say but...
-Don't forget to brush.
-[Slurred] you, too.
-I never saw miss hasenfuss
again after that day.
But I like to think that
filling meant as much to her
As it did to me.
It's funny, but even now,
Whenever I pass a
professional building,
I can't help but
look for her name...
And remember.
Good night, miss hasenfuss...
Wherever you are.