05x06 - Chapter Eighty-Two: Back to School

[bunniefuu]

Well, Jug, you ever think we'd have a night before the first day of school again.

No, not in a million years.

Cramming to finish this book my students were assigned for summer reading.

Of Mice and Men.

Feel like I'm living The Twilight Zone.

Well, I'm gonna hit the sack.

Big day tomorrow.

On behalf of Lennie, George and myself, good night, sweet prince.

You know after all these years, it's still kind of adorable to witness your back-to-school jitters.

Well, I'd be there already if I wasn't waiting on our house diva.

You tell Queen T my truck is leaving without her.

This outfit is a masterpiece that can't be rushed, as we all know.

And we're taking my motorcycle.

"Back to School Again" playing...

♪ Gettin' lots of action And a lots of fun ♪ ♪ Scorin' like a bandit 'Til the bubble burst ♪ Ms. Topaz, Mr. Keller, nice to see you.

Good morning, Waldo.

I'll never get used to that.

♪ All summer long I was happy and free ♪ ♪ Save my soul ♪ ♪ The board of education...

♪ [bell ringing]

♪ I gotta go back, back Back to school again ♪ ♪ You won't find me 'Til the clock strikes three ♪ ♪ I'm gonna be There 'til then ♪ ♪ I gotta go back, back Back to school again...

♪ I thought economics class was just for seniors.

Um, some of us are auditing.

Hm.

Well, as long as you're taking it seriously.

We will absolutely talk about my experiences overseas, but the RROTC's focus is on physical fitness, and m*llitary history.

So I'll ask again, what year was the United States Army founded?

So this semester our main project in Shop Class will be taking apart this classic car.

A 1954 Crestline and putting it back together.

Any questions before we get started?

Wasn't your dad like the Black Hood?

He was.

As a matter of fact, he taught me everything I know about cars.

So, any relevant questions?

[Jughead]

Who did the summer reading?

Who can tell me what it was?

This is gonna be great.

[Hiram]

By all rights, that school should be shut down.

Instead, I'm told there are over 100 students enrolled.

What do you care, Mr.

Lodge?

You got what you wanted.

Riverdale doesn't even exist since you unincorporated it.

Reggie, a high school offers hope, and people are sentimental about Riverdale High for reasons that elude me.

And as long as it remains open, there's a slight chance the town will grow back around it like a weed.

And that is bad for our business.

I hear you.

So what are you thinking, boss?

As you can see, this used to be a video store back in the day, but with a little TLC, it'll be the perfect spot for my new jewelry store.

I cut my teeth in the Diamond District as you know, Smithers.

I think I could bring a little Manhattan magic to this town formerly known as Riverdale in the form of exquisitely high end bling.

And will Mr. Gekko, be involved in this business enterprise?

I haven't decided yet.

He knows I'm in Riverdale, teaching temporarily, but the permanence of opening a shop, might send him spiraling.

Well, Miss Cooper...

how was the first day?

Well, they're terrified of me.

Being that I'm the daughter of the Black Hood and all.

Oof.

That sucks.

Yeah.

On top of which I can't stop thinking about Polly.

Didn't your mom say she does this sometimes?

Takes off for a couple days then reappears.

Yeah, that's why I'm trying not to panic.

Well, in the meantime, maybe I can distract you.

Tonight, my new roommate's working at Pop's.

It's too risky.

And it's not like we can go to my house - with my mom and the twins.

- We're in our 20s.

It's supposed to be easier to find places to hookup not harder.

Wait.

I actually think I have a crazy idea.

[Tabitha]

It is dead as a doornail in here, Jones.

If you wanna write, by all means.

At least until we get some customers.

You know, I was actually kind of hoping I could interview you for my book.

Me?

- Why?

What's your book?

- It's about Riverdale.

People who live here.

Portrait of a small town type of thing.

Okay.

What do you wanna know?

You left a six figure a year job in Chicago to come run Pop's?

You must have had every CEO offer that you wanted.

Or I could become the CEO of my family business and take everything I learned at my fancy schools and invest it in something meaningful.

I am not playing around with Pop's.

I put in that gas pump out front to attract truckers driving the night shift.

I have ideas for merchandising, franchising.

[doorbell jingles]

Just great.

Wait, aren't you, uh, one of our teachers?

Yeah, I am.

Why don't you guys take a seat?

I'll get the menus.

["Mine" playing]

♪ Oh, you look so precious when you smile ♪ ♪ Hit it from the back and drive you wild ♪ ♪ Girl, I lose myself up in those eye-eye-eye-eyes ♪ ♪ I just had to let you know you're mine ♪ ♪ Hands on your body I don't wanna waste no time ♪ ♪ Feels like forever even if forever's tonight ♪ ♪ Just lay with me ♪ [fire alarm blaring]

What the hell?

[gasps]

Archie, get the hose.

[Toni]

Thank God you were...

Wait, what did you say you were doing again?

Well, Luckily, I was out, uh...

Night jogging and I heard the alarm go off.

And when I ran over, I saw some Stonewall Prep students rushing off, some real bruisers.

Probably football players.

The Stonewall Stallions, Hiram's team.

He sponsors them, and in return, they do odd jobs for him.

Like setting our school on fire?

I could try arresting them, but Hiram'll have them out in bail within the hour.

'Cause Hiram's got the DA in his back pocket.

That's part of it and the other part is...

Stonewall Prep Stallions are the county's best football team.

The only ones who win games.

As much trouble as they cause, they're the only thing people have to root for these days.

Bulldogs, Bulldog Pride are things of the past.

They're star football players.

So what?

They can't be above the law.

Who's their Coach?

- Hiram?

- Not quite.

[whistle blowing]

Very good, boys.

Quick feet.

Quick feet.

What's up, Andrews?

Coming to watch a championship squad in action?

Reggie, you scumbag.

Pack of your boys paid Riverdale High a visit last night.

Yeah, I heard you're having some trouble.

Damn, you're not even denying it.

Why would I?

Unless there's proof.

You send your squad to my school again and I'll give you a b*at down like you've never had.

As for you boys, I'm looking forward to kicking your asses on the field.

Wow!

Inspired.

Yes, it's true.

I work at Pop's.

I would love to say that working at Riverdale High paid a livable wage, but alas, I had to take a second job.

But aren't you supposed to be some kind of like big time writer?

The only writing I wanna talk about today Of Mice and Men.

So can anyone tell me what this book's about?

Okay.

Plan B.

Pop quiz.

Hand these out.

Supply and demand is the foundational principle of economics.

So I'm going to make sure that you all...

Special delivery for Miss Gekko.

Chad, what are you doing here?

Surprising my wife.

But I'm in the middle of a class.

I'll just wait quietly at the back.

[Veronica exhales]

[Archie]

Mr. Weatherbee.

Uh, Waldo.

I want to bring Bulldog football back to Riverdale High as a coach, I think having a football team would be huge for school pride and would help bring what's left of this town back together.

You know where we're at financially.

I'll get the money somehow.

We even have enough players?

I only need eleven.

All right, Mr.

Andrews.

Let's see what you can do.

[Chadwick]

As you can imagine, my wife tells this guy exactly where he can stick his designer loafers.

[all laughing]

Archie, This is Chadwick, my husband.

He surprised me with a visit...

[Kevin]

...and some delicious cupcakes.

[Chadwick]

So you're the famous Archie.

Nice to meet you.

[Toni]

Well, we've survived two days of the school year.

How about we celebrate tonight?

It's karaoke Tuesday at the Whyte Wyrm.

Obviously, I'll be defying gravity.

As long as I can get a vodka tonic, I will be watching.

I don't know if we...

That sounds good.

[surprised]

What?

You hate karaoke.

[Chadwick]

What's that expression, uh, when in Rome, embarrass yourself in front of a group of total strangers?

[Toni]

Betty, do you have a minute?

Sure.

What's up?

Earlier, Kevin mentioned that your sister's missing.

Yeah.

Why?

Have you heard something?

Well, you know how Fangs and some of the other Serpents are truckers now?

Yeah.

Well, I asked around, and some of the guys have occasionally seen Polly hanging out at this sketchy truck stop right off the Lonely Highway.

[Betty]

Doing what?

Dealing for the Ghoulies or hooking up with truckers.

[Betty sighs]

Or both.

[Toni sighs]

Yeah.

Well, sadly, Polly's not the only young woman in Riverdale making a living that way.

Fangs said that some of the truckers arrange meetings with these women by posting on Nedslist.

I don't know if Polly has an account.

Yeah, Okay.

Thank you, Toni.

I'll look into it.

Do you know where exactly this truck stop is?

The thing is, Miss Blossom, the men have been threatening to quit.

[Cheryl]

Under no circumstances.

Constant hammering of nails and buzzing of saws is the only thing that quiets my troubled soul.

Tell your brutes they'll get their blood money and a bonus for their patience.

Now be gone from my sight.

Thanks to that charitable donation Toni squeezed out of me, the Blossom coffers are empty, Nana.

It's time for Operation Goldfinch.

Call Krespy's and have him send an appraiser over whilst I finish my copy of this portrait of Jay-Jay.

[sighs]

And pray my subterfuge will save us from financial ruin.

[Betty]

According to my mom, Polly doesn't have a laptop, - but I asked the twins...

- [Kevin sighs]

...and they said, sometimes, she uses theirs.

So Polly doesn't have a Nedslist account.

But Patty does.

[Kevin]

Oh, my God.

Check sent messages.

Who was the last person she contacted?

Someone named "TruckerBoy69".

And apparently, they arranged to meet up the night she disappeared.

Okay, so, either he knows something, or he did something.

Send him a message asking to get together again.

[Betty typing]

Okay.

Sent.

Okay.

Now we just wait, I guess.

Can we karaoke while we wait?

[all]

Cheers!

[rock music playing]

[dart thuds]

By the way, Jones, I have the next subject for your book.

[Tabitha]

A real character.

Oh, yeah?

Who's that?

Old Man Dreyfus.

Lives on and runs a junk yard off the Lonely Highway.

He came in today for a plate of pork chops and I asked if you could interview him for your book.

He said yes.

Did you get his number?

Oh, no.

[Laughs]

Dreyfus does not have a phone, but I do have his address, though.

Okay, what's his story?

Oh, you've gotta ask him about "The Mothman."

- The Mothman?

- [Tabitha]

Mmm-hmm.

[Toni on mic]

All right, all right!

We've got a special treat for you guys.

She used to own this place back in the day.

So let's give an extra loud Whyte Wyrm welcome to Veronica Lodge!

- [people cheering]

- She probably forgot it's Gekko now.

All good.

Knock 'em dead, babe.

[Veronica]

Thanks.

[guitar music playing "Shallow"]

♪ Tell me something, boy ♪ ♪ Aren't you tired Trying to fill that void? ♪ ♪ Or do you need more? ♪ ♪ Is there something else You're searching for? ♪ [Chadwick singing] ♪ Tell me something, girl ♪ [people cheering]

♪ Are you happy In this modern world? ♪ ♪ Or do you need more? ♪ ♪ Ain't it hard Keeping it so hardcore? ♪ ♪ I'm off the deep end Watch as I dive in ♪ ♪ I'll never leave the ground ♪ ♪ Crash through the surface Where they can't hurt us ♪ ♪ We're far From the shallow now ♪ ♪ In the sha-ha, shallow ♪ ♪ In the sha-ha Sha-la-la-la-low ♪ ♪ In the sha-ha, shallow ♪ ♪ We're far From the shallow now ♪ ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Whoah ♪ ♪ In the sha-ha, shallow ♪ ♪ In the sha-ha Sha-la-la-la-low ♪ ♪ In the sha-ha, shallow ♪ ♪ We're far From the shallow now ♪ [crowd cheering and applauding]

Good morning, lover.

Good morning, Ms. Gekko.

Man, I haven't slept that well since...

...forever.

I know.

Same.

It's fun having you here, Chad.

So...

Why don't I stay in Riverdale for a few days?

What do you think?

I think that would be nice.

Mm-hmm.

[Archie]

Congratulations.

You are the newest recruits to Riverdale High's legendary football program, which will fulfill your physical education requirements for this year.

- [Archie]

All good?

- [students in unison]

Sir, yes, sir!

Six down, five to go.

Who here wants to play football for the Bulldogs?

Welcome aboard.

And that's eight.

I'm looking for football players.

No previous experience required.

I just need a few more bruisers.

That's ten.

Who here wants to play football for the Bulldogs?

Awesome.

One more is all I needed.

What's your name, bro?

I'm Britta.

Is that cool?

As long as you don't mind playing both sides of the ball, Britta, you complete my team.

Now I just need funding.

How much funding?

Twenty thousand.

There's gotta be some kind of sports budget.

There is, but the little money that's available is already been earmarked for something else.

What about Cheryl?

Can you ask her?

No way.

I already called in my one favor.

Nobody's stopping you.

[Cheryl]

You need more money from me, you say?

Yes, for the football team.

Well, I've already done my part for the school and at a great personal cost.

Cheryl, I just thought...

[sighs]

given the fact your brother was a Bulldog, that you might want to honor him.

How dare you play my brother as if he were a red king card, Archie?

[Cheryl]

Be gone!

And never darken the halls of Thornhill again.

Leave!

When did the Krespy's appraiser say he was coming again, Nana?

Oh, she, dear.

Minerva Marble, and, um, tomorrow, she said.

Truckrboy69 responded.

He said, "So good to hear from you, Patty.

I was afraid you were still mad at me.

How's tonight?" - Mad about what?

- That's exactly what I'm going to find out when you and I go stakeout the truck stop, he suggested, right off exit 42.

[owl hooting]

Hi, there.

I'm Jughead Jones.

I work at Pops with Tabitha Tate.

She told me that you'd be that you'd be willing to tell me the story about the, uh, Mothmen.

[Dreyfuss]

About thirty, forty years ago, me and some buddies got hired to dig out a collapsed mine not far off the Lonely Highway.

One night, we went to bed.

The next morning when we woke up, one of the guys, Ramos was missing.

We worked he whole day but Ramos never showed.

Until the next morning when Ramos was back, but Raymond was missing.

Ramos told us that some Mothmen had taken him up in their ship, and now they had Raymond.

Did you believe him?

Not at first.

[Dreyfuss]

But the next morning, Raymond was back.

But Arnold was missing.

And sure enough, Raymond said the Mothmen had taken him up in their ship.

Now when you see Mothmen, are you talking...

Aliens, Angels, Mothmen, call 'em whatever you like.

They live in the woods and the caves off the Lonely Highway.

Mr.

Dreyfuss, I've lived in Riverdale almost my whole life.

Why have I never heard of the Mothmen before?

There were some articles back in the day.

Ask around.

Some people remember.

Well, aren't you worried that they're gonna come back for you living out here all by yourself?

[Dreyfuss]

I'm not afraid.

I'm hopin'.

I'm hopin' they come back for me.

I want to go up in their ship like the others.

[engine whirring]

This is definitely the place.

[Betty]

Franview Freight Lines.

That's him in the blue rig.

- That's truckerboy69.

- What?

Betty, are you sure?

[door opens]

You're not Patty.

No, I'm her sister and I'm with the FBI.

You're coming with me.

I keep saying I didn't do anything wrong.

You arranged to meet my sister at that truck stop.

And that's the last time anyone's seen her.

Look, I did meet Patty three nights ago.

She'd scored some Jingle-Jangle and reached out.

- We met up at the truck stop.

- And then what?

I told her that we should take a drive to clear her mind.

She was down with that plan, but about a half a mile up the highway, she freaked.

Jumped out of the truck, started running.

I tried to get her back in my cab, but she wouldn't listen.

She just kept running.

That's the last time I saw her.

Honest to God.

So you just left her there on the side of the road.

I didn't have a choice.

Patty was scared.

I didn't want to make it worse.

What part of the highway?

I need you to be very specific.

Hey, honey.

What's going on?

Why are you getting home so late?

It's about Polly, mom.

I have a lead I need your help with.

But you should sit down.

[bell ringing]

Look, I'm sorry, team.

The thing is, I should've got my ducks in a row first - and secured the funding.

- And the school really can't give us any money at all?

No.

There's no funding for sports, clubs, extra...

[music playing]

[cheering]

Toni, since when are the Vixens back?

Since I made it a priority in the budget last year?

There isn't even a sports thing for them to cheer for.

Uh, get over yourself Archie.

The Vixens are a sports team, and this year we're gonna be competing against other cheer squads.

I'm not even sure I'll manage to do that.

Forget the school.

Isn't there anyone else who could sponsor the Bulldogs?

It's Doris Bell.

You told me to keep you apprised of goings on at the school.

Well, there's something I think you should know.

I see.

Thanks, Miss Bell.

So sorry for the interruption, Miss Marble.

How are you finding that portrait of my beloved brother?

I mean, figurative is back in vogue, and the artist who painted your brother was chosen for next year's Venice Biennale.

I believe this portrait could easily fetch - a quarter of a million dollars at auction.

- And worth every penny.

I wonder...

might I get to keep my JJ for one more night so we can say our proper ta-tas?

I understand.

I'm staying at the Five Seasons in town overnight, but I'll be around first thing in the morning.

Even better, I'll have my men pack it up and deliver it to your hotel.

Well, Miss Blossom, it was a pleasure dealing with you.

Should you decide to sell any other items in your collection, do let me know.

I will indeed, Miss Marble.

Now that she has authenticated our original, we can swap in your perfect copy and Marble shall be none the wiser.

What's the matter, child?

Oh, nothing.

You know...

Just some upsetting news from Riverdale High.

I'll be fine.

Betty.

Oh, my God.

[gasping]

These are her things.

These are Polly's things.

[Jughead]

More coffee, champ?

Yeah, sure.

Thanks, Jug.

How goes it with the Bulldogs?

It doesn't.

The kids don't have any equipment.

They can't afford any equipment.

And the school doesn't have any money.

Well, if you promise to never bring up the epic highs and lows of high school football again, I can ask Tabitha if she's willing to sponsor the team.

That can't hurt.

There is one more person I can ask.

Veronica.

But that would be weird, right?

I just interviewed a guy who wants to be abducted by Mothman aliens.

I think weird is relative.

I say go for it.

Embrace the weird.

What do you think, Chad?

I know it's a tad sleazy at the moment, but it's the perfect spot for a jewelry store.

Good foot traffic, close to SoDale.

Only bad thing is it's not in New York.

But maybe that's the whole point, huh?

Cards on the table, Chadwick.

Being back in Riverdale, seeing my friends, working on a new business, it's been good for my soul.

So we would have a place in the city and a place in Riverdale where I'd be welcome?

Yes, but I need your support on this Chad, and love.

You have it.

Just curious.

Are we going to buy a new house or stay at the Pembrooke?

Bite your tongue.

I'm never leaving that apartment, but it could do with a remodel.

It's time for a change, starting with a clean slate.

What happened to her Betty?

What happened to Polly out on that highway?

I don't know, Mom.

But I do know one thing, if that creepy guy in jail had hurt Polly, he wouldn't have told us exactly where to go.

So we have nothing.

We have no leads.

We have...

She could be anywhere.

We didn't find Polly's cell phone, so we can trace it through the phone company.

Or if they can't do it, maybe the FBI can.

[sobbing]

And if not?

We wait...

and we hope.

[Chadwick]

So I need to be back in the city on Monday, the 19th.

That's fine.

We have your niece's birthday party that weekend.

So Mondays through Thursdays, I'm in the city, then here every other weekend.

And I'll be in New York every other weekend.

[chuckles]

You know, there is one other option that your father, of all people, suggested.

Um, I could move to Riverdale full time and help him manage the SoDale properties.

You're in finance, not real estate.

And wait, have you and my father been talking behind my back?

[knock on door]

- Archie.

- Hey, Veronica.

- Sorry to come by unannounced.

- Don't be.

Come in.

Archie, this is unexpected.

Chad.

Hey, you're still here.

Um, listen, the thing is, I'm restarting the football team at Riverdale High, and there's no budget for anything.

Say no more.

As a former Vixen, I made an oath to always support my beloved Bulldogs.

I will absolutely cover the startup costs.

Thank you, Veronica.

And I promise I'll pay you back one hundred percent.

You mean, pay us back one hundred percent.

Of course.

Pay you guys back.

Thank you, Chad.

You know, actually, now I think about it.

You're a vet, a proud guy.

You don't want to be taking handouts, do you?

So how's this for an idea?

Instead of us loaning you the money, what if you renovate our apartment?

- This apartment.

- Babe, what are you talking about?

We help out Archie's team, he does this job for us and gets paid.

I'm sure Archie has a million other things, - he's got to be doing right now.

- [Archie]

No, it's fine.

I definitely don't want to be taking handouts.

I'll call some of my dad's old crew and see if any of them can help out.

Awesome-sauce.

Thanks again, Ronnie.

Of course.

I'll see you at school tomorrow.

Okay.

What the hell was that?

He's my friend.

A guy like that, I'm sure he'd rather do a little work than crawl to you for charity.

You didn't have to be such a d*ck about it.

Excuse me?

Have I not been accommodating to your every whim since I've been here?

I've been nice to your friends.

I even sang karaoke.

I didn't realize those were such chores for you.

They weren't.

I wanted to do them for you.

If I came across dickish with Archie, um, I'm sorry, but it won't happen again, okay?

- Okay.

- Good.

What's for dinner?

- Can we get Pop's take out?

- Ugh, I don't think I can handle another greasy burger and onion rings.

Let's go out.

There's this Italian place that your dad mentioned.

Mia's?

Sure.

Let's go to Mia's.

Are you working on your Mothmen chronicles?

It is so bizarre, Tabitha.

So I ended up talking to old man Dreyfus, and he did tell me the names of the people that he used to work with.

All his buddies from back in the day.

Tracked them down just so I could corroborate his story.

Uh-huh?

Get this.

They're all dead.

Couldn't that just be a coincidence because they're old?

Well, curiously, they all d*ed from cancer.

And, yeah, that could be a coincidence, but maybe, just maybe, they were all exposed to the same radiation on the spaceship.

Hm?

Uh, is that what happens when you go aboard a spaceship?

Oh, I have no idea.

But it makes a great story.

What's the next step?

Dreyfus said that some articles were produced after their close encounter, so just tracking those ones down.

I'm in.

If you want some help, unless you're like the lone wolf type or whatever.

Sure.

More the merrier.

[knock on door]

- Betty.

- Hey.

- Is Chuck at home?

- No, he's working.

My mom and I are waiting to hear something.

Anything about Polly and she's driving me crazy.

Yeah.

I'm feeling pretty crazy and frustrated myself.

Let's go upstairs.

[sighs]

[cell phone ringing]

- Is that me?

- It's me, I think.

Yeah, it's my friend, Todd from the academy.

It's probably about Polly's phone.

I should go, but this...

was really nice.

- What's this?

- Chad.

Upon reflection, I think we need to pump the brakes.

Back in New York, I had the instinct that we should take some time to be by ourselves.

And as fun as the last few days have been, - I still think we need a break.

- Because of Archie?

No, Chad.

Because of me.

Because I need real time and space to figure out if I'm a Pop's girl or a Mia's girl or both.

It's not gonna be a problem, is it?

Not at all.

Just let me know when you're ready to talk.

Cheryl.

Hi, Toni.

I was going to give you a call and then I thought, mmm no.

Stealing my Vixens warrants a visit in person.

You're playing a very dangerous game, Topaz.

All right.

You've each been assigned a locker.

That's to go along with your new cleats, your new uniform and pads.

I'm also psyched to announce our generous sponsor for all this stuff and other Bulldog expenses is Veronica Gekko.

Lodge, actually.

Veronica Lodge.

Okay.

Well, you heard the lady.

Let's give Veronica Lodge a round of applause.

[all applauding]

You asked me to call if anything interesting or important happens.

Well, you should know what's going on in the boys locker room right now.

I see.

Well, thank you, Miss Bell.

Your information is, as always, very much appreciated.

We'll be in touch.

You see, now I'm angry.

- What happened?

- Archie Andrews made good on his promise to you and started a football team...

with my daughter's money.

So maybe this time, we pay him a visit.

I heard from my friend Todd at the FBI.

He traced the call to somewhere in this region.

Swedlow Swamp?

I don't understand.

What was Polly doing there?

And how on earth are we going to find her?

That's acres and acres of marsh land.

We'll just have to keep calling her cell phone until we hear it ring.

[Kevin]

Assuming it's still charged.

We've been out here for hours.

We're freezing.

- Maybe we should pick it up...

- Shh.

I hear something.

Let's split up.

Guys, guys over here.

[Jughead]

Archie, there's a fire!

It's on the back porch, too.